I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
