I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
