Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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