I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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