a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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