end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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