So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize