I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
