Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
