I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
