she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
