new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
