i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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