quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How's work?
Spinning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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