Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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