Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
