When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
