JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I could fuck to npr.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
