There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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