I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
