i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
