I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize