hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
