i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
