She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
