Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
