This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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