I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
