WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
