But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
