brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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