me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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