if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
