They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
