Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
