So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Randomize
