my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize