I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
