I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
