and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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