Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
then he tried to convert me to islam
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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