The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
