Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
