Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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