Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
