I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
