There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
