How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
