Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
