Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
