We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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