your parents love me but you hate me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
