Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
