I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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