I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
