I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize