i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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