she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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