if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
