Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
