I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
