You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
