We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
