Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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