Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
